I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
