you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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