Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We talked him into tasing himself.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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