He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
