Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
