He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
