I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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