im six kinds of drunk right now
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
