Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
