smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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