But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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