bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
