do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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