perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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