I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I looked at my own cervix.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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