im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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