some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
