Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The air was thick with penises
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
