ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
