u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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