i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
