theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize