cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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