I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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