drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
