we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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