Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
