I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
