Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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