threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
