that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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