ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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