his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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