did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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