Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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