Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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