what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
