My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
