My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize