I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
