Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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