How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
