Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
