Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
