ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
