Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
