JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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