i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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