This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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