Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
