Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I am full of burrito and curiosity
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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