Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Terrible idea I love it
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
