Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
