SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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