If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
