i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
