The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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