so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
